48 Hours in a garage

DafterThings Posts: 989 Enthusiast
edited September 2017 in Show off

Alfie's latest

Not sure we really got across the 'cold' at the end. Probably could have put a cold filter or masked it better rather than a simple light blue plane with opacity. The Thought Bubble effect was more difficult than we expected. Layers of composite shots to 'bake' the removal of different elements.... and we didn't name them all well enough which caused more confusion than it should have (1001st lesson learnt). 

More things we're not sure of...
a) Is it obvious why Phoebe shuts and locks the door? We got caught whether the motive would be doing  as she was told or revenge. We included both. 
e.g. using one as the opportunity to do the other . Did that come across?
b) The Thought Bubble is a clip from a previous video with a link in the description. We had a difference of opinion on what to do. Leave it open or make it more obvious by adding the link. Any suggestions?


  • CleverTagline
    CleverTagline Posts: 3,337 Ambassador

    Cute!  The cold effect kinda-sorta works, but could be exaggerated more.  Better masking would've helped so that it felt contained within the garage.  I see you added some breath steam to a couple spots, but that also could've been done more, especially as he's talking.  Another thing that would've sold it more effectively is to have him sitting on the floor (or a box or something else) instead of standing.  When a person is trying to stay warm, they tend to pull their arms and legs in to try and contain their warmth.  Even if he heard her coming to the door, I doubt he would be standing waiting for her.

    As for Phoebe shutting and locking the door, I thought at first it was just typical little sister behavior.  I didn't catch the "now" reference until he yelled it from within the garage, and even then I wasn't sure I remembered him saying that was the trigger word.  It still worked for me, though, especially when the thought bubble came up.  That really sold the idea that it was (at least in part) little-sister revenge for what happened previously.

    The thought bubble alone worked for me.  I kinda ignored the link that popped over it.  A link in the description would suffice for the curious.

  • DafterThings
    DafterThings Posts: 989 Enthusiast

    @jsbarrett excellent comments as always. 

    We did consider having Alfie hunkered down but it didn't look right. Should have thought to have him seated and scrunched up. In profile it might have shown off the potato a bit more and allow a slow-turn to camera to deliver the line. We  did think to 'frost' him as well as mask the garage cold. Animating masks is a pain but we were lazy and went with 'good enough'. 

    Glad the 'plot' worked whether from revenge perspective and/or the 'now' trigger.

    I agree with the thought bubble. However, Alfie wanted to use the link feature so made the call. In fact, I really like the fact he considered the options and took the decision.

  • Triem23
    Triem23 Posts: 20,681 Ambassador

    Heh. And what vengeance is next? 

  • Again this is a good story line, but this one feels a little more rushed than the last one, which is a shame, as with a little more polish/consideration to the physical aspects of the scene, it might have been even better.

    The "now" would have worked better if you had emphasised it with gestures.

    The first one with "Quote fingers"

    The Second with a single pointed finger - "Now..." pause 1/2 second, then turn to bucket.  "...this bucket".  Door closes.  Shouts commence.  Sister can then explain how she distinctly heard him say the word "now" - to self/camera/brother trapped in garage/other???


    And/or you could have a literal text layer of the word "now" which comes from your mouth at the key points.  I did one just now, and had it pop out, grow from zero, then disperse with a particle and opacity effect just after creation.  Probably too much, really, but it would also do the trick.

    Cut scene.  Sister looks out of window pensively as snow falls outside "I wonder how brother's doing...". 



    The garage scene would have been better with the actor hunched on the floor glumly, sucking the potato then slow turn, look up, baleful glare. No words.  Or "I hate you" carved on the potato or laid out in potatoes on the floor/walls.

    The cold idea could have been more emphasised.  I agree with your thoughts as to a blue filter.  Possibly something in the hair to simulate frost.  I found this on the Tube by searching frost eyebrows. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Hviwk3BGNw

    Again, your concepts are truly great.  Turning the normal brother/sister interaction into an epic story.  The acting is also really good.  It feels totally natural, and the cut scenes work really well too.  Keep it up.

  • DafterThings
    DafterThings Posts: 989 Enthusiast
    edited September 2017

    @Hitfilm18240 really interesting that you bring up a couple of things we thought about but didn't go for.

    We had a take using the finger and 'Now' suggestion. It was dropped as being too obvious. We should have gone somewhere in-between the two.

    We *did* miss a trick with the sister saying "I definitely heard you say 'Now'".... so simple but would have worked so well.

    We *did* think about the sister taking the bag of popcorn as she walks out saying "No point this going to waste" and/or watching TV with the popcorn wrapped in a blanket saying "I wonder what he is up to right now"

    Yes to the hunched over with glare to camera and yes to the frosting of eyebrows and hair. Thinking about it... raw potato tastes awful but we *could* have Alfie bite an apple, hide it and then make it look as if he was crunching potato... or, of course, suffer and eat the real thing 

    I think what we need to look at is why we discarded some of these ideas before filming. Lesson 1002... film the variations so you have the options for the edit.

  • CleverTagline
    CleverTagline Posts: 3,337 Ambassador

    Lesson 1002... film the variations so you have the options for the edit.

    Bingo.  Better to go into editing with more choices than fewer (or none).

  • Triem23
    Triem23 Posts: 20,681 Ambassador

    Also, remember you're all new ti video and filmmaking so don't beat yourself up. We're watching, enjoying and laughing at the skits, which means you're engaging the audience with enjoyable characters, plots and gags. That's the hard part.

    So, as you continue with the channel you'll all get more comfortable with the process and will continue to improve.

    Looking forward to the next one. 

  • DafterThings
    DafterThings Posts: 989 Enthusiast

    @Triem23thanks. Although Alfie wants to build his YouTube channel this is all part of  a larger plan for things he'd like to do in the future. That's why all the feedback and encouragement is invaluable.

    We're considering a 'Hitfilm Community Edit' version of the same video incorporating the suggestions here. Whether it gets uploaded is a different matter but all input we get is taken positively.

  • Andy001z
    Andy001z Lord EarthPosts: 3,489 Ambassador

    Yeah I did enjoy the video, it hung together well. Maybe some feathering on the bubble mask might of made it look at bit better or maybe have it at 60% opacity?