"The Forgotten Vale" A Dinosaur Short Film: Advice and Feedback Please!!

Hi everyone! My name is Zach and I am new to Fxhome. I am currently working on a two part dinosaur short film called "The Forgotten Vale." It's an original story and I wanted to make a film of this sort because I love dinosaurs! Jurassic Park is my favorite film franchise and I had the opportunity to be an extra in Jurassic World while it was in production in New Orleans. That being said, this project is being made just for fun with no budget. I got my sisters and close family members and friends to be in it even though they have no acting experience. I also need to improve on my film making and editing, that is why I am looking for you all to give my honest feedback on what I can approve. The film is directed, edited, and filmed by me. I am almost done with part 1 and I hope to have it released by August with part 2 being released at the beginning of next year. Here is a teaser trailer for part 1:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eP1ipD7lieE
I look forward to hearing your feedback from you all! Thank you so much :)

Comments

  • KirstieT
    KirstieT Posts: 1,086 Staff
    edited July 2014
    Hey Zach - welcome to the community :) I really love your opening titles - very impressive and professional looking!
    It really raises your expectations for the film. Of course, this is just a trailer for part 1 of the short film so there's only so much feedback you can get, but I'm sure the others will chip in their two cents. In terms of your pacing and editing, you use the 'blinking' to good effect, and it really builds tension.
    I think perhaps the order of the scenes could add to this increasing tension. Perhaps beginning with the ones with less movement e.g. the sword, the one looking up, the crawling one and the man sitting with the blood on his shirt, followed by the ones where the movement becomes more frenzied. If it were me, I'd then start slotting in the ones where the woman is backtracking with terror and the woman firing an arrow, ending with the one where she's sprinting through the woods. This way, when you finally blacken the action to bring in the titles, it ends on the most exciting, most panic-inducing moment and feels a bit more like a precipice.
    But apart from that it looks really interesting. I have two questions:
    1) When is part 1 going to be ready to view?
    2) You said you had the 'opportunity' to be an extra in Jurassic Park. PLEASE tell me you took that opportunity. If not - whaaaa???
  • StormyKnight
    StormyKnight Posts: 2,722 Ambassador
    Are the dinasaurs invisible? :)
    But seriously- nice job! Like the flow- the titles and I agree with Kirstie- I think a little different order would definately increase the tension and set the scene better.
    Can't wait to see the final production! With visible dinasaurs, I pressume. You're not using those little plastic ones like the army men are you? ;) 
  • Thank you guys for the feedback!
    @KirstieT I hope to have part 1 up by August and I definitely took the opportunity to be an extra on Jurassic World! It was an amazing experience!
    @StormyKnight The dinosaurs aren't invisible nor plastic lol I didn't want to show any of the dinosaurs because I wanted to build suspicion with the viewers. Plus, I might go back and re-edit some of the animations.
  • Keegan
    Keegan Posts: 294 Just Starting Out
    Good job! As Kirstie said, the opening titles are really really good! I think with a more drastic color grade and a bit of stabilization, your footage would look way better as well.(Though I still think it looks pretty good, as is.)