George Of The Ring. Liam's This And That Little Projects Thread (Critique appreciated)

alaska_vfx_filmeralaska_vfx_filmer Website User Posts: 450 Enthusiast
edited May 16 in Show off

My first project I'm actually Uploading to the Forum.

Inspired by FilmSensei, from his older "Jumping Cars" Tutorial.

This  was a spur of the moment thing I did with a friend a couple years ago, He had just bought his T4i, and nether of us knew how to use it, hence, Not focused, we shot at 720p/50, high ISO, etc

All the same, I think it came out pretty good, for a first DSLR deal ?

https://youtu.be/VVh4m9w5FCQ

That is my friend walking, and also his truck (He's actually driving it in every scene, except the shots inside the cab, that's me ?).

Comments

  • Triem23Triem23 Moderator Moderator, Website User, Ambassador, Imerge Beta Tester, HitFilm Beta Tester Posts: 18,239 Ambassador

    Pretty good! 

  • alaska_vfx_filmeralaska_vfx_filmer Website User Posts: 450 Enthusiast
    edited April 16

    Thanks Triem, I forgot to mention that the reason why it's only 10 seconds long, was that it was originally edited for a last minute production crate contest entry, needless to say, it didn't win :-)

  • alaska_vfx_filmeralaska_vfx_filmer Website User Posts: 450 Enthusiast
    edited May 14

    An unfinished random short I shot last night with my little brother (who wanted to disappear ?)

    Criticism and Critique  Appreciated. 

  • CleverTaglineCleverTagline Moderator Las Vegas, NVModerator, Website User, Ambassador, HitFilm Beta Tester Posts: 3,034 Ambassador

    Very nice! Great storytelling. Nice mix of shots, everything is really clear in terms of what's happening all the way through, and you timed the music quite well with the visual story. There were just a few things that stuck out as needing improvement.

    1. At 0:14 when he steps into the frame with the ring, his leg completely obscures the ring. Different framing and/or a slightly wider shot would allow us to see both the ring and his leg.
    2. 0:29 - The disappearing effect is simple, but effective. Perhaps a little more glow across his entire body, rather than having it focused on his upper body. My bigger issue, though, is that the effect happens too soon after the cut from the previous shot. Delay it by just a few frames and it will read better.
    3. It doesn't end! I was left with a "what's going to happen next" feeling when it faded to black, which means that things were working well up to that point. You admit in your post that it's unfinished, but you could've added just a few more shots to turn it into a short-short: have him panic and take the ring off, look at it, drop it, and run away. If the last shot is a low angle with the ring on the forest floor in the foreground as he runs away in the background, it provides a sense of closure, while still leaving the door open for more shorts.
  • alaska_vfx_filmeralaska_vfx_filmer Website User Posts: 450 Enthusiast
    edited May 15

    Thanks @CleverTagline

    The music was edited/made in Filmstro, The shots and story line were literally made up as I went along (at sundown to) without a tripod, the reason it it just ends is because I literally ran out of ideas ? the vanishing will hopefully be fixed in future, the problem was that I found that his fingers were still in the shot (around the mask) after i had exported, I was running out of time, so I sliced it short, when I go back to it I will increase the glow mask to include more of his body, also, I like the idea of 'ditching' the ring for a closure

  • tddavistddavis Moderator, Website User Posts: 4,175 Moderator

    @LiamMcM1 Very nice!  I agree with CleverTagline's commentary and suggestions 100%.  The only thing I can is add is you should have saved this to enter in the current In The Box contest.

  • Andy001zAndy001z Moderator, Website User, Ambassador, Imerge Beta Tester, HitFilm Beta Tester Posts: 2,863 Ambassador

    Very good colour grade to ring more was good. The preditor cloak didn't add much to the scene although nicely done.

  • alaska_vfx_filmeralaska_vfx_filmer Website User Posts: 450 Enthusiast

    @tddavis, I was actually planning on entering it in the contest, I filmed and edited the closure last night, I am planning on  sending that in for the contest, but did i disqualify myself by posting the unfinished project publicly before sending it in? I tag in @OliThompson and @TheBenNorris to verify.

    @Andy001z, I dont really know anything about 'preditor' effect, I was basing the idea of the effect more on The Hobbit (book), Bilbo is described as having his shadow still visible, but, "weak" and "shaky", and I remembered seeing a sensi tutorial on an invisibility effect using difference key, and displacement effect.

  • tddavistddavis Moderator, Website User Posts: 4,175 Moderator
    edited May 15

    @LiamMcM1 I am not at all certain about that either.  You did the right thing tagging in them. Here's a link to the rules if you haven't seen them:

    https://bloguploads.fxhome.com/2020/05/Inside-The-Box-Video-Competition-Terms-and-Conditions.pdf

    Part D Is a concern for me in your situation:

    "d. Your entry must be an original work that has not been previously made for any other purpose. Projects that have been entered into another competition at any point in the past - or made with the intention of entering into another competition at some point in the future - will not be considered."

    Your purpose WAS entering it, and it doesn't specifically mention not shared before, but I just don't know... :(

  • alaska_vfx_filmeralaska_vfx_filmer Website User Posts: 450 Enthusiast

     Actually, I have NOT shared it, Yet, Not the final product, which I will upload today. 

  • tddavistddavis Moderator, Website User Posts: 4,175 Moderator

    @LiamMcM1 Good deal.  It's way better than what I have been working on.

  • alaska_vfx_filmeralaska_vfx_filmer Website User Posts: 450 Enthusiast
    edited May 15

    Thanks ? but I doubt I have any real chance, but what the hey! It was alot of fun!

  • alaska_vfx_filmeralaska_vfx_filmer Website User Posts: 450 Enthusiast

    I uploaded it to YouTube, but I wont share it here until I can verify if its allowed for the contest,  I maxed out the one minute timeline fast and found myself having to trim down some of my pet shots, Oh well I can always remake it after the contest. ?

  • alaska_vfx_filmeralaska_vfx_filmer Website User Posts: 450 Enthusiast

    I am assuming everybody's on their weekend, I am going to go ahead and enter it with a link to this discussion , Fingers crossed ?

  • OliThompsonOliThompson Staff Administrator, Website User Posts: 140 Staff

    @LiamMcM1 Thanks for entering your work and sorry for not getting back to you sooner. Publishing an unfinished version doesn't disqualify you so best of luck! :)

  • alaska_vfx_filmeralaska_vfx_filmer Website User Posts: 450 Enthusiast
    edited May 18

    Sweet! Thanks @OilThompson. Am I allowed to share entered video here? or should I wait?

  • OliThompsonOliThompson Staff Administrator, Website User Posts: 140 Staff

    @LiamMcM1 You can share the content on here if you'd like to. I don't believe that breaches any of the rules of the contest, which can be found here: https://bloguploads.fxhome.com/2020/05/Inside-The-Box-Video-Competition-Terms-and-Conditions.pdf

  • alaska_vfx_filmeralaska_vfx_filmer Website User Posts: 450 Enthusiast
    edited May 21

    Ok, Thanks again :-)

    Here is The finished product

    I took your advice for the ending concept @CleverTagline, and cut down a bit on the invisible walking shots. I decided I actually liked the shot where his leg blocks the ring though. I chainged the disappearance effect also, but unfourtunatly forgot to extend the previous frames, but then I was already having to trim down almost every shot to make it fit the 1 minute limit.

  • CleverTaglineCleverTagline Moderator Las Vegas, NVModerator, Website User, Ambassador, HitFilm Beta Tester Posts: 3,034 Ambassador

     Looks great! Nice work!

  • alaska_vfx_filmeralaska_vfx_filmer Website User Posts: 450 Enthusiast
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