Marvel Meets Star Wars: An Action Short

turnerm121
turnerm121 Website User Posts: 5

This is a recent creation of mine that I hope you enjoy! And by all means if you have any constructive criticism I would gladly love to hear it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIeGRB2fdms

Comments

  • tddavis
    tddavis Moderator, Website User Posts: 4,516 Moderator
    edited May 2018

    @turnerm121 Your effects looked very good.  Not sure that holding someone in a force choke long enough to run 'em through with a light saber is very Jedi though. :)

  • Jacob_Larson
    Jacob_Larson Website User Posts: 64
    edited May 2018

    I loved it!! My only slight critique is that the title crawl lasted probably a little bit to long relative to the length of the video, it would be easy for people to lose interest when the title crawl lasts for half of the video. I had a problem similar to this where a narration sequence lasted for around a minute, in a three minute video, my YT analytics show that people quit watching around 15 seconds in to the narration sequence. But other than that, fantastic job! 

  • JMcAllister
    JMcAllister Website User Posts: 599 Just Starting Out

    I agree with Nathan on this one, the title sequence is waaaaay too long considering it's about 1 minute 30 when your whole film is under 3 minutes... but once we get to the action it's good

    although I do also agree with tddavis about the force-choke bit being out of character for Luke

    the only other thing was, I was kinda wondering where Cap disappeared to - seems like he becomes kinda unimportant after the first bit. But then when I saw the credits I realised there were only two of you... so that explains that mystery

  • ellis_is_great
    ellis_is_great Website User Posts: 31 Enthusiast

    Very cool! The camera work was nice and kept the frantic action feel.  Great sound effects.

    If I had a critiques: 

    -Yes the crawl is too long, given the length of the film. A simple title screen of "Marvel vs Star Wars" would get the point across.

     

    -A bit more care with the planet. You can see jagged lines around it.  So it doesn't look like a unified scene.

    -The saber. It's such a bright green, and with all the white in the scene, there is no reflection. Easiest fix for this would be to film using a toy lightsaber that lights up. Harder way is to add some spots using masks and color correction.  (Although technically, the first Star Wars movies didn't have the sabers effecting their surrounding either!)

    -The muzzle flashes were too orange/yellow. I think using a different composite mode and messing around with the opacity might give a more natural look.

    -Not sure what you are going for at the end where the color correction turns really blue?

     

  • FilmSensei
    FilmSensei Moderator, Website User, Ambassador Posts: 2,699 Ambassador

    I agree with CLC about the planet. It is really easy to use some planet textures and the Sphere Effect to create a simple planet to use for a scene like this. Make sure the texture is set to a 3D plane and turn off illumination if you have lit the scene. Also, feel free to layer in multiple textures with different sphere sizes and opacities. Nasa has a great source of real planet textures to use... check it out!

    https://nasa3d.arc.nasa.gov/images

  • Andy001z
    Andy001z Moderator, Website User, Ambassador, Imerge Beta Tester, HitFilm Beta Tester Posts: 2,976 Ambassador

    Hi

    not bad, for me the titles (enough said) and the star-field and planet was a bit err rough. The main action was great, the Jedi charter moves all cool. Not sure my sound was working or how you balanced the audio but I didn't hear many blaster noises. When at the beginning the guy with the shield fires the hand pistol I get no sound. I am deaf in one ear so maybe my headphones causing that issue???

  • thedragonfilmmaker88
    thedragonfilmmaker88 Website User Posts: 81 Just Starting Out

    This was a really great short-I liked the plot, however, I think the overall execution could have definitely been improved upon. Almost half of the short is exposition via the opening title. It would have been nice to see a longer short with more chemistry between the characters, and maybe better costumes. I thought the camera work was impressive, as were most of the VFX. For the spaceship and planet, you should have attempted to use some of Hitfilm's 3D capabilities. Overall, I thought it was a fun short that could have benefited a bit more time put into it.

  • Palacono
    Palacono Website User, HitFilm Beta Tester Posts: 3,445 Enthusiast

     I liked it, after I skipped the scrolling text. In addition to the other points: the effects seemed too clean and bright. Maybe dialing them back a bit - less is more? - or, conversely brightening up the backgrounds might have blended them in a bit more 'realistically'. I know that makes no sense for imaginary weapons, but...you know what I mean. ;)

  • CleverTagline
    CleverTagline Moderator Las Vegas, NVModerator, Website User, Ambassador, HitFilm Beta Tester Posts: 3,192 Ambassador

    +1 to many of the comments above, especially the over-bright effects, the odd blue grading at the end, and the roughness of the opening planet.

    Another thing to tweak would be to smooth out the "camera" move that brings the planet into view.  I say "camera" because I'm pretty sure you just moved a pair of planes for that, but there's a very abrupt start and stop to their movement.  Use Smooth or Manual Bezier interpolation on your keyframes to make that feel less jarring. And instead of setting keys on two planes, you could simplify it by parenting them to a point layer and moving the point. That way you could also fix the slight sliding that happens between them due to a minor difference in movement speed.

    Finally, I realize that you're calling this an "action short," with the focus on the action, but it would've been nice to have even a few lines of dialog from the main characters to bookend all that action.  Another downside to your opening crawl is that it set a higher expectation (for me at least) that there would be some actual story to come after the crawl, not just fighting. When it was only the fight, I was left wondering why there was such an elaborate build-up with the crawl.

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