Please watch my first shortfilm


  • Andy001z
    Andy001z Lord EarthPosts: 3,577 Ambassador

    Well I watched it, it had all the bits that a good story needed (setup, action, challange, success) the VFX tracking was nicely done. I might have made your opening title text fade out sooner to show off you nice organge circle effect. Sound in places felt a bit out of place, I am guessing some where added in post and just needed tweaking a bit. I didn't understand why our hero was shooting to start with, what was he shoting at the bad guy was hiding. I would remove the shooting effect from that scene and just have him walk up looking for the other guy. I did like the camera work and cuts mostly worked.

    Overall good job.

    Oh and the female voiceover computer was really nice and clear very well recorded.

  • tddavis
    tddavis Posts: 5,221 Expert

    @natsudragrexx   +1 to the things Andy001z mentioned above.  That's a lot of ammo expended for not hitting anything and gives away the hero's location to the hiding bad guy.  The rapid fire just doesn't work for me.  Now, two place an extra random shot goes off that works are when the they hero is chasing the bad guy and jumps he accidentally fires his gun and at the end the over the shoulder toss off shot.  Nice touches.  An interesting way of shooting the gun levitating into the hero's hand at the beginning  by closing in with the camera.  But easy to miss what's happening there. I would suggest adding a shot (hero POV) of the gun floating in a bright ball of energy appearing suddenly in mid air (a green screen shot would work) and then start to float toward the camera.  But that's totally up to you.  Keep it up!

  • Triem23
    Triem23 Posts: 20,288 Power User

    Pretty much +1 to what Andy and Tddavis said. That was fun! 

  • @andyoo1z, @tddavis, @triem. Thank you friends, thanks for the good advice and motivation.. :)