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Here is a short film that I made for a local film festival. The other entries weren't very flash so I took the prize of a box a chocolates



  • MarkOm
    MarkOm Posts: 63
    The first portal effect doesn't look right. Does anyone have any suggestions?
  • AxelWilkinson
    AxelWilkinson Posts: 5,255 Staff
    edited October 2012
    For the first portal, I think it would help to add some sort of field that fills in the area the particles are in. Really, the first portal should just look like a much smaller version of the bigger one.
    At about 2:30, the coke bottle is in your hand one moment, then its gone after the cut. I expected it to be thrown through the portal and disappear, but instead it just got lost in editing, leaving me wondering why it was there in the first place.. There are a few places the edit could be tightened. The baby joke isn't particularly funny, it just makes the guy look like a jerk. Presumably his reasoning is "Well, if something horrible happens, I'd rather it happen to my baby than to me." --?
    Despite the editing hiccups, the narrative flowed decently, I thought. It was clear what was going on, other than the random baby suddenly being to hand, and the camera angles worked decently. The effects weren't bad, though i'd like to see a touch more lightning around the edges of the portal. That's more personal preference than a flaw though.
  • StormyKnight
    StormyKnight Posts: 2,617 Ambassador
    I'd take a box of chocolates! :D
    I'm confused about the title. Is it "SmartMan"? 'Cause I was thinking: sticking a metal object into an elecrically charged portal isn't all that 'smart' but I love the irony. The baby? Well, I think today's accepted animal of choice for portal testing is a white rabbit with the #4 spray painted on it. ;)
    I really enjoyed this! Interesting camera angles and another box of chocolates for the effects work. Loved the ending and the compelling music. Thanks for posting!